The world of postpartum care is growing so quickly, it's hard to remember sometimes that not so long ago it was as new to the world as the infants it works hard to care for. We’ve worked hard to learn more about, and tend to, the needs of new parents as they go through this crucial and often difficult stage of life. Yet, while maternal mental health has grown to be widely discussed, the mental health of fathers during the postpartum period remains largely overlooked. The most current research indicates that approximately 10% of fathers experience postpartum depression (PPD), and between 24-50% of fathers with a partner who is experiencing PPD will also experience it. Many studies note that it is hard to tell what the actual numbers are, as there is strong evidence that these numbers could be even higher due to underreporting. 

Men, especially men transitioning to being fathers, don’t tend to ask for help, even when they need it. We prefer to power through, to suck it up, to rub some dirt in it and move on. We tend to believe that the best way to be the protective father and husband we want to be is to not burden others with our struggles. However, paternal mental health has a profound impact not only on your well-being but also on your child, your partner, and the overall stability of your family, and a lot of it isn’t stuff we can just choose to stop experiencing or figure out on our own. If you are a new father struggling with overwhelming stress, exhaustion, or emotional withdrawal—or if you are supporting a partner who is—this is not something to ignore. Taking action now can make all the difference.

Is there a problem?

Paternal Post Partum Depression (PPD) and other mental health struggles can look very different than maternal PPD. While mothers may present with sadness, tearfulness, or feelings of guilt, fathers often experience:

• Irritability and Anger: Increased frustration or short temper
• Withdrawal: Emotional distancing from their partner, child, or social activities
• Anxiety: Persistent worries about financial stability, parenting competence, or the health of the child
• Increased Risk-Taking or Substance Use: Using alcohol or other substances as a coping mechanism
• Fatigue and Sleep Disturbances: Beyond typical new-parent exhaustion, often accompanied by difficulty concentrating

These struggles are not just temporary inconveniences—they can deeply affect your ability to bond with your child and support your partner. If these symptoms sound familiar, they deserve your attention. Ignoring them will not make them go away. In fact, untreated paternal mental health struggles can have long-term consequences for you and your family.

‍The Cost of Ignoring Paternal Mental Health: Many fathers feel pressure to ignore their struggles, assuming that focusing on their own mental health is selfish or unnecessary. For some fathers, its just a simple matter of no one thinking to check in on us or telling ourselves that our partner has it worse. In reality, neglecting your mental health can have serious consequences:

• Strained Partner Relationships: When fathers experience untreated depression, conflict within relationships often increases. Emotional distance, miscommunication, and resentment can build, making an already challenging period even harder for both partners.
• Weakened Parent-Child Bond: A father who is emotionally absent or disengaged during the early months of a child’s life may struggle to build a secure attachment later on. Your child needs you—not just physically, but emotionally, too.
• Higher Risk of Behavioral and Emotional Issues in Children: Studies have shown that children of fathers with untreated mental health concerns are more likely to struggle with emotional regulation, anxiety, and social development. Your mental health is not just about you—it can shape your child’s future.

The Benefits of Prioritizing Your Mental HealthThe good news? Seeking support can create meaningful, positive changes for you and your family. Taking steps to address your mental health can lead to:

• Stronger Relationships: Seeking help can improve communication, emotional intimacy, and overall relationship satisfaction with your partner.
• More Meaningful Parenting Experiences: When you feel emotionally present, you are better able to engage with and enjoy your child’s early milestones.
• Healthier Child Development: Research shows that children with emotionally healthy and engaged fathers develop stronger emotional resilience, social skills, and cognitive abilities.

Your mental health does not just affect you—it shapes the well-being of your entire family. Addressing it is not an indulgence; it is an investment in your future and your child’s.

‍The Challenge of Seeking Help—and Why It’s Worth It: As we mentioned, fathers tend not to reach out for help, even when they are struggling. But even when fathers recognize what’s happening, finding help can feel like an uphill battle. Here are some common barriers that come up along the way:

• Lack of Awareness: Many men do not realize that postpartum depression, anxiety or other mental health concerns can affect them, making it less likely they will seek support.
• Limited Screening and Support: Healthcare providers rarely screen fathers for postpartum mental health concerns, making early intervention difficult. The same is true of family members, friends and other social supports.
• Social Expectations and Stigma: Traditional views of masculinity discourage many men from admitting they need help, let alone seeking it. Many of us watched our own fathers or our friends struggle in similar ways and believe on some level that what we are experiencing is normal.
• Time and Financial Constraints: The pressure to return to work and provide for a growing family can make prioritizing mental health seem impossible.

If any of these challenges resonate with you, know that you are not alone. Resources exist, whether through therapy, online support groups, or even just talking openly with your partner. Seeking help does not make you weak—it makes you a stronger, more present, and more capable father. Parenting is hard, and you need to make sure you are in fighting shape for whatever comes.  

‍Moving Forward: Your Mental Health MattersIf you have been struggling in silence, now is the time to take action. It starts with what you’ve just done - acknowledging how you feel. The next step could be having a conversation with your partner, or reaching out to a professional if needed. If you are a partner of a new father, check in with him—ask how he is really doing, and encourage some open dialogue.Fatherhood is a journey filled with challenges, but you do not have to face them alone. Prioritizing your mental health is one of the best things you can do for yourself, your child, and your family. Your well-being matters—do not wait to take the first step toward support.