Bringing home a new baby to meet their older siblings is a big moment for the whole family, and it’s important to approach it with care to help foster positive relationships and ensure a smooth transition into this new chapter as a family. 

Here are some important things to consider:

1. Preparing the Older Siblings in Advance

• Talk About the Baby: In the weeks leading up to the baby’s arrival, start talking to the older siblings about what to expect. Explain how things will change, but also emphasize the exciting aspects, like being a big brother or sister. 
• Involve Them in Preparation: Let the older siblings help set up the baby’s room, choose baby clothes, or pick out toys. This helps them feel involved and more excited about the new arrival.
• Read Books About Becoming a Big Brother/Sister: There are plenty of picture books that address sibling relationships and the arrival of a new baby. These can help older children understand their feelings and what to expect:
  • You Were the First - Patricia MacLachlan 
  • Waiting for Baby - Rachel Fuller 
  • Hello in There - Jo Witeck and Christine Roussey
  • We’re Having a Baby - Amanda Gummer

2. Managing Expectations

• Be Honest About Changes: Gently explain that while the new baby is adorable, it will need a lot of attention, and mommy and daddy might not be able to give the older siblings as much attention at first.
• Reassure Them: Let the older children know that they are loved and important. Emphasize that their role as a sibling is special and that they will still get time with you.

3. The First Meeting

• Make It a Positive Experience: When bringing the new baby home, try to make the first meeting a calm and positive experience. If possible, it’s best to introduce the baby to the older siblings in a relaxed environment, not when the older child is already tired or cranky. We suggest having baby in the bassinet, not in the parents arms, when the siblings meet. 
• Have One-on-One Time: Before introducing the baby, spend a few minutes alone with the older sibling, giving them your full attention. This helps ease any potential feelings of neglect or jealousy.
• Let the Older Sibling Approach the Baby: Depending on their age, allow the older sibling to gently hold or touch the baby, but don't force interaction. Let them approach on their terms and at their own pace.
• Focus on the Older Sibling: Praise the older sibling for being a great big brother or sister, and highlight the role they will play in helping with the baby.some text
  • Consider having a small gift from the baby to the older siblings, like a book or small toy 

4. Involving Older Siblings in Baby Care

• Include Them in Small Tasks: Give older siblings small, manageable tasks related to the baby, such as bringing diapers, helping choose baby clothes, or even singing to the baby. This makes them feel helpful and involved.
• Teach Sibling Care: As the baby grows, teach the older sibling how to gently interact with the baby. Simple tasks like helping with tummy time or holding the baby’s hand can make them feel proud.
• Encourage Bonding: Encourage activities that allow the older siblings to bond with the baby in their own way, like reading stories to the baby or gently rocking them to sleep. 
• Communication: If you’ve taught your older siblings sign language, this could be a great first opportunity to teach their new sibling something, giving them a sense of pride:
  • https://babysignlanguage.com/

5. Managing Sibling Rivalry and Jealousy

• Acknowledge Their Feelings: It’s normal for older siblings to feel jealous or left out when a new baby arrives. Acknowledge these feelings by saying things like, “I know it’s hard when the baby needs a lot of attention, but we love you so much.”
• Give Extra Attention: Find opportunities to spend special one-on-one time with the older sibling. Even simple things like reading together, playing their favorite game, or having a special outing can make them feel seen and valued.
• Consistency is Key: Try to keep routines consistent for the older siblings. If possible, keep them in their usual activities (like school or playdates) to maintain a sense of normalcy.
• Praise Good Behavior: When the older sibling demonstrates patience, kindness, or helps out, praise them for being a great big sibling. Positive reinforcement can encourage good behavior and help reduce feelings of jealousy.

6. Making Time for Yourself and Your Older Children

• Balance Attention: It can be hard to juggle the needs of a newborn with those of older children, but it’s essential to find moments where you can focus on the older sibling(s). Make time for family activities that don’t revolve around the baby.
• Enlist in support: Request support from family and friends. Set up play dates for the older sibling or special outings with family members to keep them feeling excited about this new chapter and ease the load for parents. 
• Self-Care for Parents: Taking care of yourself is key to being able to care for everyone. Ensure you're getting breaks when possible, whether it's alone time or time spent with the older siblings.

7. Family Dynamics and Patience

• Be Patient with Everyone: Remember that the adjustment period will take time, and it's normal for emotions to run high. Give everyone, including yourself, grace as you navigate this big transition.
• Celebrate New Roles: Over time, encourage the older sibling to embrace their role and celebrate their achievements as a big brother or sister. Positive reinforcement can help them feel proud of their new identity in the family.
• Maintain Routines: Whether it’s morning dance parties, play dates or after school dance class, maintain the routine with siblings to keep a level of stability

8. Managing Your Own Expectations

• Give Yourself Grace: This is a challenging phase for the parents too. Your attention is called in many directions while also recovering from birth. There will be bumps in the road, but celebrate the wins. 
• Expect Some Growing Pains: There may be moments of regression or difficulty in the first few weeks as everyone adjusts. Your older children might act out, seek more attention, or express frustration. 
• Understand It’s a Transition: The transition from being an only child (or having the spotlight on them) to having to share attention with a new sibling is a big adjustment, and it may take some time before everything feels “normal.”

By being proactive, patient, and involved, you can help your older children adjust to the arrival of the new baby while nurturing positive relationships between siblings. The goal is to make everyone feel valued, loved, and excited about the new family dynamics.